We conclude our likability journey today with Dale Carnegie’s sixth and final principle.
6. How to Make People Like You Instantly – “Make the other person feel important, and do it sincerely”
-There is one all-important law of human conduct. If we obey that law, we shall almost never get into trouble. In fact, that law, if obeyed, will bring us countless friends and constant happiness. But the very instant we break the law; we shall get into endless trouble. The law is this: Always make the other person feel important. Jesus summed it up in one thought; probably the most important rule in the world: “Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.” You want the approval of those with whom you come in contact and recognition of your true worth. Obey the Golden Rule. How? When? Where? The answer is: All the time, everywhere.
-George Eastman, of Kodak fame, invented the transparent film that made motion pictures possible, amassed a fortune of a hundred million dollars, and made him one of the most famous businessmen on earth. Yet in spite of all these tremendous accomplishments, he craved a little recognition just like you and I. When Eastman was building the Eastman School of Music and also Kilbourn Hall in Rochester, James Adamson, then president of the Superior Seating Company of New York, wanted to get the order to supply the theater chairs for these buildings. Phoning the architect, Mr. Adamson made an appointment to see Mr. Eastman in Rochester. When Adamson arrived, the architect said: “I know you want to get this order, but I can tell you right now that you won’t stand a ghost of a show if you take more than five minutes of George Eastman’s time. He is a strict disciplinarian. He is very busy. So tell your story quickly and get out.” Adamson was prepared to do just that. When he was ushered into the room he saw Mr. Eastman bending over a pile of papers at his desk. Mr. Eastman looked up, removed his glasses, and walked toward the architect and Mr. Adamson, saying: “Good morning, gentlemen, what can I do for you?” The architect introduced them, and then Mr. Adamson said:
“While we’ve been waiting I’ve been admiring your office and I never saw a more beautiful office in all my life.” Eastman replied: “It is beautiful, isn’t it? I enjoyed it a great deal when it was first built. But I come down here now with a lot of other things on my mind and sometimes don’t even see the room for weeks at a time.” Then Eastman showed him about the room, commenting on some of the details. They paused before a window, and George Eastman pointed out some of the institutions through which he was trying to help humanity: the University of Rochester, the General Hospital, the Homeopathic Hospital, the Friendly Home, and the Children’s Hospital. Mr. Adamson congratulated him warmly on the idealistic way he was using his wealth to alleviate the sufferings of humanity. Eastman unlocked a glass case and pulled out the first camera he had ever owned – an invention he had bought from an Englishman. Adamson questioned him at length about his early struggles to get started in business. Mr. Eastman spoke with real feeling about the poverty of his childhood, telling how his widowed mother had kept a boardinghouse while he clerked in an insurance office. James Adamson had been ushered into Eastman’s office at 10:15 and had been warned that he must not take more than five minutes; but an hour had passed, then two hours passed, and they were still talking. Finally, George Eastman turned to Adamson and said, “Come up to my home and have lunch with me.”
The order for the seats amounted to $90,000. Who do you suppose got the order, James Adamson or a competitor? From that time until Mr. Eastman’s death, he and James Adamson were close friends.
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