While U.S. President during the 1980’s, Ronald Reagan understood the power of humor to help establish rapport in communication. Prior to his first nuclear arms negotiation meeting with Soviet General Secretary Mikhail Gorbachev in 1986, there was a great deal of tension. This created a considerable coolness in the initial stages of their meeting. This was no surprise, since Reagan had often referred to the Soviet Union as the Evil Empire, so he melted the chilly meeting atmosphere by telling Gorbachev this joke:Reagan and Gorbachev

Moscow had been having a terrible problem with people speeding, so the Moscow police were given strict orders to give anyone caught speeding a ticket. One day Gorbachev was late getting to the Kremlin, so he said to his driver, “You get in the back and let me drive. We’ll get there faster.” They sped by a couple of motorcycle cops, and one of them took off after the car. He came back ten minutes later, and his buddy asked, “Well, did you give him a ticket?” “No, I didn’t.” “Why not, who was it?” “I don’t know, but his driver was Gorbachev.”

Gorbachev loved the joke, and from that point on, rapport increased, tensions eased, and considerable progress was made in the bargaining process.

A good definition for rapport is: A state of mutual trust and respect between two or more people and is the primary basis for all successful communication. In the selling universe, where this does not exist between salespeople and buyers, phone calls are not returned, information is harder to get, and difficult demands are made in price and proposal delivery. The bottom line is that many sales are lost.

In order to be able to gain rapport, salespeople need to discover things they have in common with the other person. Make an effort to find people you both may know, hobbies you might have in common, or even restaurants you both may patronize. I have always preached that people buy from people they like and trust, and we tend to trust those who like the same things we do.

In his 2004 e-book on Consultative Selling, Richard Grehalva (www.richardgrehalva.com/), an executive recruiter based in Birmingham, AL. makes some interesting comments when he discusses the fact that people primarily process information through sight, sound and touch (feeling). He calls these, “channels” and explains them by using examples such as:

“Show me what you are talking about,” depicting the “visual” or sight channel.

“Sounds good from my perspective,” describing the “auditory” or hearing channel.

“That just doesn’t feel right to me,” illustrating the “kinesthetic” or feeling channel.

Not only do your prospects use these channels to communicate, you do as well. As with personality types, people don’t continuously communicate using only one channel, but they tend to have a dominant one that they use most frequently. It’s important to determine their primary channel, for the same reason you fine tune a car radio channel. We all know how irritating it is when radio reception is not clear, and although you can hear sounds you can’t quite make out all the words.

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Here are some clues to help you determine which channel you primarily use. Once that is established use these same clues to categorize your prospects and buyers:

Do you like to explain things by drawing pictures? Do you prefer watching someone demonstrate a new function first before trying it yourself? When giving directions do you describe the landmarks that will be seen? If so, you are tuned to the VISUAL (seeing) channel. It helps when you can see the whole picture. You tend to see in pictures, colors, and shapes; and if one is not there, you create a picture of what it would look like. You probably talk fast and often use your hands to help show people what you are talking about.

Do you process information by hearing details and stats? Do you prefer to listen to the steps of a tutorial when trying something new? Do you listen to and remember details of what has been said? If so, you are more of an AUDITORY (hearing) person. You like to be able to hear the words, tones and sounds that are spoken to you, so you can get all of the facts and as many details as possible.

When in a meeting do you focus more on the feeling behind the words than what is actually said? When confronted with something new do you prefer to just jump in and get started, only asking questions when you get stuck? Are you more likely to get involved in sports or watch TV? If so, you prefer the KINESTHETIC (feeling) channel. You probably appear relaxed and speak slowly with pauses in between your phrases. Most of your decisions are based on gut feelings.

Know How Sales Prospects LearnLearning to speak in another person’s language, whether it is visual, auditory or kinesthetic, will get you into rapport quicker and at a deeper level. Both of you benefit because you are communicating in the language in which they prefer to process information. It’s similar to traveling to a foreign country and attempting to speak their language. Even when you butcher it, they typically smile and offer help, resulting in the beginning of a positive relationship.

When talking to a new prospect, after you think you’ve determined the language they are using…test it and observe the results.

Try saying something like this: “My guess is that you would prefer to get information from me that (pick one) shows you, OR, details information along with specifications in writing, OR, allows you to test drive to get a feeling) of how my service/product will provide the results you are looking for. Am I right?”

Based on their answer, you will know if you chose the wrong words and which channel you should use with them. Adjust if needed and begin speaking the language they prefer. It’s like my choosing German for my foreign language in high school; very difficult at first but, with practice it became much easier.

©2016 Robinson Training Solutions, LLC