DALE CARNEGIE (1888-1955), was a pioneer in public speaking and personality development. He became famous by showing others how to become successful. His book How to Win Friends and Influence People (1936) has sold more than 10 million copies and has been translated into many languages. His books became popular because of his illustrative stories and simple, well-phrased rules.
During the month of April I will be sharing one chapter from Carnegie’s book with you pertaining to becoming more likeable to others. Those of you who are familiar with my work have heard me yammer for a long time about the importance of likeability as the main reason why people buy from others. Since Carnegie devoted an entire chapter of his world-famous book to this subject, I believe it is definitely worth posting, reading, absorbing and depositing some of his wisdom into your personal selling toolbox.
Keep in mind that this book was written 80 years ago, and therefore written in the colloquial language of that time. Make sure you focus on the content and not on the syntax of his writing.
This chapter of Carnegie’s book addresses six principles of likeability, which are listed below, and will therefore require five different posts to adequately present. This is why this month’s newsletters are labeled Part 1 through Part 5.
- Become genuinely interested in other people.
- Remember a person’s name is the sweetest and most important sound in any language
- Smile
- Be a good listener and encourage others to talk about themselves
- Talk in terms of the other person’s interests
- How to make people like you instantly 1. Become genuinely interested in other people –“Do this and you’ll be welcome anywhere”.
Why read this book to find out how to win friends? Why not study the technique of the greatest winner of friends the world has ever known? Who is he? You may meet him tomorrow coming down the street. When you get within ten feet of him, he will begin to wag his tail. If you stop and pat him, he will almost jump out of his skin to show you how much he likes you. And you know that behind this show of affection on his part, there are no ulterior motives: he doesn’t want to sell you any real estate, and he doesn’t want to marry you.
Did you ever stop to think that a dog is the only animal that doesn’t have to work for a living? A hen has to lay eggs, a cow has to give milk, and a canary has to sing. But a dog makes his living by giving people nothing but love.
-The New York Telephone Company made a detailed study of telephone conversations to find out which word is the most frequently used. You have guessed it: the personal pronoun “I.” It was used 3,900 times in 500 telephone conversations. When you see a group photograph that you are in, whose picture do you look for first?
-Sales representative Edward M. Sykes, Jr., of Chatham, New Jersey, shared, “Many years ago I called on customers for Johnson and Johnson in the Massachusetts area. One account was a drug store in Hingham. Whenever I went into this store I would always talk to the soda clerk and sales clerk for a few minutes before talking to the owner to obtain his order.
One day I went up to the owner of the store, and he told me to leave as he was not interested in buying J&J products anymore because he felt they were concentrating their activities on food and discount stores to the detriment of the small drugstore. I left with my tail between my legs and drove around the town for several hours. Finally, I decided to go back and try at least to explain our position to the owner of the store.
“When I returned I walked in and as usual said hello to the soda clerk and sales clerk. When I walked up to the owner, he smiled at me and welcomed me back. He then gave me double the usual order; I looked at him with surprise and asked him what had happened since my visit only a few hours earlier. He pointed to the young man at the soda fountain and said that after I had left, the boy had come over and said that I was one of the few salespeople that called on the store that even bothered to say hello to him and to the others in the store. He told the owner that if any salesperson deserved his business, it was I. The owner agreed and remained a loyal customer. I never forgot that to be genuinely interested in other people is a most important quality for a sales-person to possess – for any person, for that matter.”
If we merely try to impress people and get people interested in us, we will never have many true, sincere relationships.
———Doug’s Take on Likeability————
Doug’s book, Sell is NOT a Four Letter Word is devoted to improving communication skills, including become more likeable. He starts discussing likeability on page 26. Get your copy here with FREE SHIPPING.
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