Most sales people do a lousy job of deflecting negativity and take things personally all too often. As social creatures of the marketplace, they are at least partially defined by the relationships they establish. A portion of those people are known quite well and are easier to get along with, while others can be tougher to successfully communicate with.
Certainly sales reps are dependent upon others for their financial security, but they often extend that dependency to emotional happiness too. When they are negative, aggressive and abusive, they may find themselves trying to satisfy these folks because they need them, and as a byproduct take things personally. When this occurs people are giving others more power over them than they should have. That said, instead of taking it personal and/or accepting feelings of rejection, I’m providing five suggestions for you to consider when you look up and find yourself occupying that zip code.
RATE – Determine the value of that particular relationship. Is there a high price to pay if you disagree or challenge this buyer/customer? Do you really need them? Is it necessary to suck up and please this person and keep them happy? Is it really worth the emotional effort?
REVERSE – Try to walk a mile in the other person’s moccasins. What is this other individual trying to convey to you? Does this person have a grumpy temperament, treating everybody this way and not just you? Maybe they are poor communicators who always act like Attila the Hun in order to get their way, with relationship issues toward everyone.
RECONSIDER – Don’t, Ready-Fire-Aim when you are confronted. Don’t assume any negativity is directed at you. Maybe they have problems in other areas of their life and you just happen to be in the wrong place at the right time when they erupt. Could be they are simply trying to control you or the situation because they are out of control elsewhere in their life. When you know this is a possibility, prepare yourself ahead of time and don’t get sucked in.
RESHAPE – Separate yourself from your reactions. Don’t allow yourself to kneejerk, but rather evaluate what’s going on prior to 
responding. When you create a “demilitarized zone” between yourself and another person, you are more likely to escape unscathed.
RESPOND – Once you’ve thought it through, then reply. Park your emotions in the corner and then ask for an explanation along with what they want from you. Actively listen and then respond with how they make you feel. Hopefully, they don’t realize how insensitive and hurtful and possibly unreasonable they are being. Perhaps, suggest an alternative solution as a way out for them.
If none of the above works you had better rethink the value of this customer/account. You are better off without them and having your emotional security intact, than dragging this customer relationship around like a ball and chain.
Finally, we are all often dependent upon others for our emotional security and happiness, and therefore feel less satisfied when we are rejected; so we just don’t go there. It’s important to understand they are rejecting what you are offering and not you personally. If they refuse or disagree…it’s OK. When we take things personal we are giving customers more power than they should be allowed to have.
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After his first month in a new online sales coaching group, Matt, the owner of the participating franchise says; “I am enjoying the training and feel that the results will be very positive. It has already created more of a teamwork, ‘we can do this’ mentality among my sales team.” Learn more on my website, HERE.
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